How do you tell a person who has an ego that he has an ego?

I recently met a Civil engineer. He had a career shift from a BMC worker to a highly successful and good earning Civil Engineer. It is not totally his fault that he has full faith in himself and not so much on God almighty. He believes that he is a self made man. In other words, I am trying to justify his reasons for being egoistic.

On top of it, he is a very very selective listener. If things don't sound correct, he makes it very clear. Not just this, he is also short tempered. If one tries to make him understand the logic, but it is not something he wants to hear... then... I had a very hard time during the analysis. I was surprised when he came for the analysis in the first place, Individuals who are so sure of themselves, rarely come to me. Later I learned that it was his wife who forced him citing some issues with coworkers at work.

Normally, when I analyse, I start with things that are intrinsic to the individual's behavior and is slightly uncommon. I started the analysis with something funny. He smiled. Next analysis was also intrinsic and present in almost all his strokes, He gave me an Ok but seemed to be thinking about it. I told him that if he wants to explain something in detail, I would be happy to. As I keep saying, Graphology is scientific and can't be wrong. Only time it may seem wrong is when I don't word it properly or give a wrong example.

What happens is there is a trait - You have good aesthetic sense. 


Manifestations

• You can be good at matching colors - not just for clothes but also for curtains, walls etc
• Your sense of design can be good.
• The prints (if)that you buy (for curtains, towels, bedsheets, dress for wife, handicrafts) can be very pretty and look terrific at home. Because of your keep sense, you probably match it with your home decor, Others might look at it as a piece alone and not like it. There are several other manifestations of the trait 

So, When I mention the trait in the analysis and it doesn't make sense, I try to give the manifestations. It might not be all true but It surely does help reaching to the point.

With this gentleman, He stopped me with the first manifestation and replied that I was wrong. This went on for next 15 minutes even though all the traits that I was saying were positive and present in all the letters. The only thing he sort of agreed though very reluctantly was to stomach issues. He said - Yes, very little. 

Later, his wife told me that he suffers from constipation often. 

Anyway, I decided to be honest with him in the most gentle way I knew. I told him that the issues he was facing was because of a few reasons. He didn't agree to it completely but at this time, his wife got the courage to tell him that I was right. When I gave him the 4th manifestation and he sort of said ok if not yes, I told him that all the manifestations I have given so far mean that he has an ego. He almost jumped from his seat. No one who has an ego likes to be told or agrees to it. I didn't know what to say much, He obviously disagreed and we ended the session soon after that.

This has been the most exciting and thrilling experience during an analysis for me. I still don't have an answer to this. How do I tell a person who has an ego that he has an ego? He is obviously not going to listen to me. 

Ironic na? It is like a mad man trying to prove he is not mad.

March 2012 - New Woman Article - Write your way to Health and Happiness slowly.

An article about me, Graphology, benefits of graphology and a way to live better by writing slowly.... in the magazine - New Woman. Issue of March 2012. Life is kind...and everything cannot be perfect..a learning after reading the article...they have written everything perfectly except the contact details...;) Anyway, You know where to find me - http://sos4graphology.com/

For those who have trouble reading it, here is the draft I had sent to the mag. It is more or less the same.

Have you faced the following issues?

• Forgot to switch off the gas after keeping it on sim?
• Asked your neighbor to check if you had locked the door?
• Done with the bath but forgot to switch off the Geyser?
• Called home to check if you had switched off the lights and fan?
• Walked in the room and forgot the reason?
• Feeling more irritated about memory issues?

Each one of you reading this may be having many more experiences to share. We generally laugh about such instances but what we don’t realize is that such events can be dangerous. Why don’t we do something about this? Probably because we don’t really understand the reason behind such behaviour and label it as memory loss or ageing and accept it into our daily life.

So why do we forget? One of the reasons why we forget these activities in day today life is because our living has become fast. It has become so rapid that most of us don’t know how to handle it and hence we try to do more than 1 thing at a time. “Our mind is over worked” says Kunjal Shah, psychotherapist and counseling therapist of Don Bosco College. She adds that we have become absent minded and we really need to slow down. We have become obsessed with the peripherals of living and our daily functioning has taken a backseat because of it.

What really is happening is that our conscious mind is one track mind. We can think of only 1 thought at a time. Try it! Try not thinking about feeling cold and you will start feeling cold. So, when we jump tasks, our conscious mind forgets to register the tasks. 

Example, you are making your last chapatti and you keep the gas on sim 

– Task 1. Your kid asks for chapatti, you put this last chapatti in the basket and go to give it to him 

– Task 2. While you are out in the dining area, you see that he needs more bhaji and you give it to him 

– Task 3. In this while, your husband asks you to sit down for dinner and you do which unfortunately becomes task 4 and by now you have no memory or concern for task 1 the gas kept on sim.

These are still small frivolous sounding issues. Kunjal Shah shares a case she read in “The Man Who Mistook His Wife for a Hat and Other Clinical Tales” is a 1985 book by neurologist Oliver Sacks about a musical genius who was biologically perfect but suffered from Visual agnosia. He chose and strongly desired to focus on music and disregarded almost everything to the extent of forming an imbalance in life, of which this was a severe case says Kunjal. When we get used to our surroundings, and take the situations as granted, we slowly act mechanical. He had trained his mind for music and took other things for granted. This caused him to not use most of his other senses. If you replaced the tooth paste with foot cream, he wouldn’t notice and brush.

Slow down but how? The issues that have come up are not something new and there are thousands of articles that you must have read which talk about slowing down. Doing one thing at one time and doing it with concentration. But how? Sunayna Navani, a well known graphologist says to write slowly.

Write everything slowly. Sign to the courier boy slowly and not in haste. Sign your kid’s report card slowly. Fill details on the cheque slowly. Practice writing slowly before bed.

Benefits

• You will become less mechanical
• You will be more aware
• You will not take yourself or your surroundings for granted.
• You will understand reasons behind doing things.
• You will gain clarity
• You will understand yourself
• You will achieve good results
• Memory will definitely improve
• Your success rate will increase.

Scientifically, how will writing slowly help?

“The greatest invention of all must surely be writing. It is not just one of the foundations of civilisation: it underpins the steady accumulation of intellectual achievement. By capturing ideas in physical form, it allows them to travel across space and time without distortion, and thus slip the bonds of human memory and oral transmission, not to mention the whims of tyrants and the vicissitudes of history” says Tom Standage, author of "An Edible History of Humanity".

A pen in hand is mightier than a sword’ goes the age old saying. Most of us remember this from School. Few of us actually realize the essence of it and even fewer practice it. Handwriting is also called "Brainwriting" simply because it is a remarkable reflection of our personal styles and our patterns of behaviour.  We write with the pen which is in control of our muscles of our thumb and fingers and our limbs which also happen to occupy a huge space in our mind. Each vibration of movement is unconsciously directed by the brain says Sunayna.

When you write slowly, you start instructing and in effect controlling your mind. This helps you to take charge and be aware. Really, try it for few days before dismissing it completely. “This idea came to me last year when I wanted to control my anger. I had club strokes in my handwriting, the only way to remove them is to write slowly” says Sunayna. Club strokes are the effect of the pen thinning in the end when you write very fast.

Sunayna also made her family write slowly and found her mom breathing more deeply than usual. My aunt has become more alert than before about everything. I suggested this to a VP who felt guilty after every argument and was ready to try anything. Sadly he is still not reached where he wants but agrees that there are slow and subtle effects and it surely helps each one who is taking the effort to write slowly.

What else can Graphology help you with?

Graphology is a tool to understand yourself and the world around you BETTER. Graphology is often mistaken to be handwriting analysis but graphology is much more than that. Graphology helps us judge the mental state of the writer. It is a guide to the will power, intellect and emotions of a person and much more.

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About Sunayna - The corporate world didn't hold her interest for long and a 9 to 5 didn't appeal her one bit. So, She took a break, sorted things and converted her hobbies into her occupation. She started art with sunayna (www.artwithsunayna.wordpress.com) to teach and sell earrings and cards made from quilling and donate... and became a full time graphologist. She uses mix of Graphology, affirmations and healing to help you understand yourself and the world around you better or get a good life partner or help Organizations hire better.

About SOS

SOS4Graphology is Sunayna’s Optimum Solution for Graphology started by me, Sunayna Navani. I was hooked to graphology since 2003. I have analyzed over 5000 signature samples and 2500 drawing samples. I have analyzed signatures and helped everyone from CEO’s to housewives and would be happy to assist you too.